We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
