So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
