he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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