I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
