No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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