:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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