and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You took a bar mat shot.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
