____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
