before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize