I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
