I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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