My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
