I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize