you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Are we still banned from the library?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
