My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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