on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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