Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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