it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you traded sex for a burrito?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize