I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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