I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
