i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
