Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
