Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize