So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
