38 yer olds are good kisserssss
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
