I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
