Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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