dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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