I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
