Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
