it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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