We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize