highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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