Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I cannot find my penis.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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