We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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