sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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