I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
