Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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