very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
