I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
