I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Everything about him screamed your future.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
