Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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