the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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