im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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