Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
