the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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