I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
