I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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