Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
last night I used snow as a chaser
He has the fingertips of a God
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