I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
