I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
