I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
