I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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