This girl is more easily done than said...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
