why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
