All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
