I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
