Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
