Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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