You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
