hotel room ftw
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
