You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
