I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
