So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
