I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
All the doctor said was why
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
