but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize