farters have to be the big spoon...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
