ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
ugly people sure do ruin things
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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