i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
