He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
