I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
