After last night, I could never be a politician.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
